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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561036">Between Worlds, I Promise You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexedstars/pseuds/vexedstars'>vexedstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:15:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexedstars/pseuds/vexedstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shirabu watches as a sigh escapes Taichi’s lips, as if he has more things he can say, as if there’s another world in which he has tried to confess his love only to die trying, as if he’s never had a chance to express it all when there’s a thousand more worlds in which they will never be together and Shirabu will be too far beyond his reach. </p><p>--</p><p>In a thousand lifetimes and more, Shirabu is always the sun while Taichi orbits around him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kawanishi Taichi &amp; Shirabu Kenjirou, Kawanishi Taichi/Shirabu Kenjirou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Between Worlds, I Promise You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>apparently after all these years (it's been like two but who's counting), i can still write a fic??? writing??? fic???<br/>anyways this sprung from the fact I just really love shirabu and shout out to lin who was an instigator and then suggested this rarepair xoxo.</p><p>anyways enjoy this somewhat indulgent fic piece. &lt;3</p><p>the <a href="https://open.spotify.com/artist/6maAVJxVTGW1xA3LokpQm8?si=s4GRLqs5R8GDWJhX8WlDyQ">music</a> i listened to as well as This <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0MrGb1hT2U">Song</a>(!!) to write this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I could kill you right now,” Shirabu hisses, a knife held to the throat of his target and he presses it slightly harder into the skin, not slicing it but so the other could feel the pressure of the blade.</p><p>The male in front of him merely laughs, a low rumble full of mirth and an air of relaxation that seems out of place for someone who is about to die.</p><p>Kawanishi Taichi. That’s the name his agency had given him and under no circumstances is Shirabu supposed to allow him to come out of the building alive.</p><p>But what the agency doesn’t know was the fact these two had met before. Once, twice, a thousand more that stretched beyond the time that has placed them in this world currently.</p><p>“You can,” Taichi agrees, leaning towards Shirabu as a trail of blood now travels down the length of his neck. Shirabu’s eyes follow it before they flick towards Taichi’s whose eyes are only looking at him gently and full of warmth that Shirabu is not privy to. At least not in this lifetime. “But I’ll only come back and find you again.”</p><p>Shirabu gnaws at his lip, his eyebrows furrowing. “You’re not making any sense.”</p><p>Taichi doesn’t elaborate though, only taking a deep breath as he waits for Shirabu’s next move, never once flinching from his gaze.</p><p>Shirabu shakes his head, not wanting to prolong this anymore and it’s only when Taichi is crumpled at his feet, in a pool of his own blood that somehow he feels a sense of loss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s when Shirabu feels the hand on his shoulder, the comforting grip and the way his body relaxes under the touch, as if it had been yearning for the warmth from Taichi’s palm that he realizes perhaps this is what it means to love someone.</p><p>Taichi none the wiser, only squeezes his shoulder gently, lingering for just a second before letting go and Shirabu has to stop himself, biting his lip in fear of saying something that will ruin this moment that they’re sharing.</p><p>He smiles though through the tears that are streaming down his face, allowing himself this weakness at least and the fact that it’s only Taichi who can see him like this; in the locker room where everyone’s already left and Shirabu no longer has to pretend to be strong, a front that he puts up when he’s around the others.</p><p>They’ve lost and while Shirabu knows it’s always a possibility, it doesn’t stop it from hurting.</p><p>“You’re not weak,” Taichi says to him with a kindness that’s only reserved for him, something that Shirabu doesn’t want to accept not because he doesn’t want to but because there’s a part of him that he feels doesn’t deserve it.</p><p><em>I am.</em> He wants to say.</p><p>“Thank you,” Shirabu says instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps the next time you could keep your dog on a leash so that this doesn’t happen again,” Shirabu comments with a tone of irritation as he looks at his prized camelia bush that is now lacking the flowers that give it its namesake.</p><p>Taichi, his next door neighbour rubs the back of his head sheepishly, as the perpetrator is lazing around behind him, paws up in the air, tummy in full view and tail wagging happily with no remorse in sight. Taichi’s dog is also laying in a massacre of petals and Shirabu just clenches his gardening shears tighter in his hand.</p><p>“He’s still a puppy,” Taichi responds finally. “I’m still trying to teach him commands, but he tends to have his own mindset the moment he’s allowed outside…”</p><p>“Then make him learn faster,” Shirabu answers, a hard edge in his voice. It has after all taken months of nurturing and grooming for his flowers to finally yield the results he had dreamed of and now looks even worse for wear than when he had first purchased the bush.</p><p>Taichi doesn’t take offense, and only nods. “For now can I at least take you out for coffee, as a peace offering?”</p><p>Shirabu takes another look at him, at the way Taichi’s looking at Shirabu’s shoes instead of him, and the way he seems to try to make himself seem less intimidating, with shoulders hunched and a little pout that’s on his lips. In fact he sort of looks as though he’s perfected the look of that of a kicked puppy, as he’s the one that is getting the reprimanding.</p><p>Shirabu sighs, long and heavy, tired but neutral. “Would it make you feel better?”</p><p>Taichi looks at him then, eyes bright as if he’s already expected this from him, as if they’ve had a conversation just like this in the past. “And if I said it would?”</p><p>Shirabu takes a minute to contemplate, letting Taichi sweat under his gaze but that doesn’t happen. In fact Taichi just continues to look back at him with an expression that Shirabu doesn’t understand at all.</p><p>Shirabu at the end is the one who looks away.</p><p>“I drink tea,” Shirabu finally says and Taichi smiles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your highness, we must leave now. They’ve already breached the north entrance and are on their way here now,” Taichi, his royal guard whispers urgently despite the fact that there are only two of them in the throne room. The castle by then had already been cleared out of their staff and personnel had taken to escaping through the tombs that Shirabu had ordered them to do.</p><p>He told the same thing to Taichi as well, but the other was stubborn to a fault, as he knelt before his king and then with clear defiance in his tone, told him that he would not be leaving him.</p><p>Shirabu shakes his head at the ridiculous display of loyalty from him but didn’t argue in the moment though now, watching the way Taichi is grasping his hand tightly, pulling him towards the door that would allow them to escape, Shirabu realizes that he should have ordered him to go as well.</p><p>Because he knows in his heart that when they arrive, Taichi will happily die for him.</p><p>Shirabu digs the heels of his shoes down onto the tiled floor and Taichi pauses when he feels the resistance.</p><p>“Your highness?” Taichi asks, confused as he turns around.</p><p>Shirabu just takes a moment then to soak in the image of the moonlight reflecting in Taichi’s eyes and the concerned gaze he holds for him and Shirabu wonders if there is a lifetime in which they didn’t have these obligations and duties, where the both of them could live freely with each other.</p><p>Shirabu tugs at his hand and Taichi allows himself to be pulled closer until their nearly chest to chest.</p><p>When Shirabu cups Taichi’s cheeks, he doesn’t care to know the answer to his question because this is their lifetime now and so he wants to allow himself this, if only for a minute--as their lips finally meet and Shirabu can feel the crack in his heart break even more at the desperate way they both just fall into it, as if memorizing everything about this. As their lips move in tangent together, Shirabu’s breath hitches ever so slightly and Taichi reacts to him as if he’s a man drowning and he’s finally come up for air.</p><p>They both lose track of time and perhaps that’s why they don’t hear the steady footsteps behind them not until Shirabu feels as if a shard of ice runs through his body when the arrow pierces him from behind. Shirabu doesn’t hear the way that Taichi cries out his name, whirling around to block the intruder from him as he throws up his sword to block the next arrow that rains down on them.</p><p>What happens after is a blur for Shirabu and he doesn’t feel the fire that lights with Taichi as every strike of the blade is an anger that cannot be contained. That for every cry he lets out in pain, Taichi echoes with his own.</p><p>With a body that now lays dead beside them, Shirabu doesn’t know the moment that Taichi returns to him again, despite the fact Shirabu tries to push him away gently, gurgling as he drowns in his own wounds, trying his hardest to convey the fact Taichi should go now.</p><p>When Shirabu feels his life fade away in Taichi’s arms, he doesn’t notice the way that Taichi only holds him closer as if he is his whole world, as if there have been lifetimes before, that Taichi has experienced where Shirabu has died just like this.</p><p>Always like this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shirabu wakes up first, as he always does when they’re both allowed to sleep in for the weekend. It's a habit, if anything, that Shirabu’s body is now trained to sleep early and then wake up even earlier.</p><p>In fact, he’s used to it as he allows himself the quiet solace that the mornings offer him when everyone else struggles to wake up.</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t get up first, turning over to his side to watch the way the sunlight falls upon Taichi’s face and he reaches over to brush over the way his lover’s hair falls across his forehead.</p><p>Under the covers, Taichi’s chest rises and falls in the rhythm of someone who’s still deeply asleep and Shirabu doesn’t mind waiting until the moment the other stirs under his touch.</p><p>The clock that hangs above their dresser ticks with every second that passes and Shirabu soon sees the way that Taichi scrunches his nose, feeling the warmth of the room rise ever so slightly with the sun now streaming a steady beam of light into their room.</p><p>Sensitive to the change of temperature, Taichi turns from where he’s laying on his back, to his side now facing Shirabu.</p><p>Shirabu grins and leans forward then to lay a soft kiss upon his cheek.</p><p>“Morning,” Shirabu whispers when he pulls away. But Taichi doesn’t let him get far, reaching his arm out blindly, his eyes still adamantly closed even though it’s clear to both of them now that he’s finally awake.</p><p>“Not yet,” Taichi mumbles and pulls Shirabu towards him, hugging him closely.</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t fight it, as he feels the way Taichi’s breath ghosting his neck and ruffling his hair. In fact he allows it and is lulled by Taichi who takes a few slow and steady breaths before sinking into the slumbers of sleep once more.</p><p>Shirabu agrees. His own hand goes to touch the arm that is around his waist, his eyes closing as he feels himself relax in the comfort of Taichi’s embrace.</p><p>
  <em>The morning can wait.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s the white walls, the cleanliness and sterile smell that gets to Shirabu and he hates it and tries to ignore the fact he wants to get up and leave but he can’t. Not when Taichi is here and alone and Shirabu knows that when Taichi was admitted, he was the one that was put down as the emergency contact and not Taichi’s own parents.</p><p>When the doctor finally allows him into the room, and Shirabu sees the oxygen mask and bandaged side, Shirabu falls into the chair that’s beside his bed and takes a small breath of relief.</p><p>Taichi wheezes.</p><p>Shirabu thinks it’s a laugh and without even looking up, goes to shove him in the arm.</p><p>“You’re so stupid,” Shirabu says, his voice shaky and he tries to will himself not to cry, not now at least, maybe when Taichi’s asleep and he goes out to get him some ice chips.</p><p>“Yeah, I am,” Taichi says easily and reaches up with his iv-injected arm to hold Shirabu which has been shaking the moment he entered the room. He doesn’t notice till now, when the shaking finally stops when he feels Taichi’s hand in his. He squeezes it once, before letting go, not wanting Taichi to exert any excess strength that he needs to recover.</p><p>It was a coincidence that Shirabu had been leaving his work the same time that a mugger had gotten desperate, a rusty knife in their hand, when Taichi had been on his way to pick up Shirabu and had come across the two in the alleyway. Taichi ran in without no thought about his own safety and in the process had gotten stabbed before the mugger ran off.</p><p>“Never do that again please,” Shirabu says, not wanting to remember again, at least not so soon, his forehead now leaned forward to press against the sheets of the bed near Taichi’s hand. He fears if he looks up again, he’ll remember the way that Taichi’s gaze grew distant as he looked at him, and he felt for a moment Taichi was going to take his last breath.</p><p>There’s a pause of silence as the heart monitor beeps steadily and Shirabu falls into the noise of that, realizing how much the sound is helping him, and he freezes when he feels the way Taichi’s fingers run through his hair softly before he relaxes once more.</p><p>“I won’t,” Taichi promises him.</p><p>And what Shirabu doesn’t know is how Taichi will be willing to do this again, every single time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Shirabu sees the letter in his mailbox, with the same messy handwriting he has grown accustomed to the last few months, he breathes a sigh of relief as he knows another letter means another day that he lives.</p><p>They had made no promises, at least not when reality would not allow them to, at least not until the war is over. For Taichi is afraid of breaking the promise, and Shirabu is afraid of losing him. But their letters are filled with hope that one day that the two may reunite where they both concoct dreams for each other, wistfully yearning as they hide their love between each word.</p><p>Shirabu holds each letter he receives carefully, as if he stares at them too long, they’ll fade away from his sight. But he knows he doesn’t have the pleasure yet to reread the words sent to him from a place of darkness and despair, of every day wondering if one will survive through this and of wondering just who they’re really fighting for. Instead he locks away each of the letters after he’s read them once in a chest and again sends a wish to the heavens that the next time instead of letter, he gets Taichi instead.</p><p>His wishes though, are for naught.</p><p>And one day, the letters stop.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So you haven’t studied at all?” Shirabu questions him, a few minutes before their test.</p><p>Taichi shakes his head, as he rests his head against his arms on his desk, looking as if he’s one second away from dozing off.</p><p>Shirabu flicks his forehead, and Taichi huffs but doesn’t move from his position.</p><p>“Nope,” Taichi says with an air of nonchalance that irritates Shirabu to no end. After all they’ve done this before in the past. Where Shirabu learns of Taichi and his lack of effort and yet he’s able to enter the top five highest marks in the class with an ease that he wishes he could have.</p><p>With sleepless nights, and impending headaches, Shirabu pushes himself to the brink every single time there’s another exam. He doesn’t have the luxury to take it slow, to breathe when there are expectations and pressure for his future.</p><p>Shirabu is jolted out from his own thoughts however when Taichi holds his hand, and that is when he notes how tightly he had been holding the pencil, where an indent now lays in the crook of his pointer finger.</p><p>“You’ll do great,” Taichi says, a smile now easing its way on his face. He says it so clearly and confidently though, that Shirabu is unable to really believe it when every time he’s scared of the unknown. He doesn’t trust himself the same way that Taichi for some reason trusts him.</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t bother to answer, instead he takes out his notes again for a last minute review and while there’s really no reason to do so at this point, Taichi just stays quiet for him.</p><p>Because of his concentration however, he misses the way that Taichi looks at him, as if he’s the answer to everything.</p><p>To Taichi, he is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“More souls today,” Shirabu comments lightly, noting the way the spirits drift past him, lost but following the path that will lead them to the hall of judgment where their life will be judged in an instant and it will determine whether they will spend an eternity in the fields of punishment, live it out in Elysium, or be sent to wander aimlessly with no purpose.</p><p>Taichi pulls his hood down and just like Shirabu, watches the souls that pass by them knowing full well that they are too lost in their minds to really see the two of them there.</p><p>The river Styx rocks with the waves that carry the cries of departed and Taichi stands on the edge of the helm of his boat.</p><p>In this world, they are bound by the dead and there is no chance for the two of them. In this world, Shirabu knows of every lifetime he has spent above with Taichi and when he locks eyes with him, he knows that the ferryman is privy to that knowledge as well.</p><p>But the two of them never say a word about it to each other, they do not spare a glance of longing nor dream of their past lives and wonder when the time will come when they will be one of those souls that will pass over the river Styx looking for an answer.</p><p>With no more than a few words exchanged between each other, the two return to their callings. As Shirabu must bring more souls to the underworld and Taichi must return to allowing them to cross the river.</p><p>Maybe it’s in this lifetime, they realize how fragile a human life really is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shirabu is stuck in a tree and he wants to cry.</p><p>His mom isn’t around and even worse, he doesn’t have on his shoes anymore. He had lost them on the way up but failed to realize that he would need them to go back down.</p><p>And now he’s shoeless and crying with snot and tears and he’s feeling pretty miserable.</p><p>“Hey!” a voice calls out and through the blur of his eyes, Shirabu looks to see a kid around his age, light brown hair, messy and unkempt as if this kid had run out of the house before their parents had had the chance to brush his hair.</p><p>He looks older but maybe not by much, but Shirabu can’t really tell, he’s still focused on the fact he doesn’t know how to get down.</p><p>He sniffles.</p><p>“You!” the kid shouts again and he opens his arms. “Jump!”</p><p>This stops Shirabu from crying momentarily because now he’s confused and well, scared.</p><p>“What?” Shirabu asks, voice small, as his hands now grasp the truck of the tree.</p><p>“Trust me!” the kid yells again, and he’s waving his arms and seems like someone who doesn’t want to leave anytime soon.</p><p>Shirabu does want to get down… So he considers it.</p><p>“Are you sure?” he asks this time.</p><p>The kid nods. “My dad tells me that because I drink a lot of milk, it means I’m strong.”</p><p>For the young mind of Shirabu, it’s enough for him to trust him and without another thought, he lets go of the tight grip that he has on the truck and jumps, feeling as if he’s freefalling for an eternity, when in reality it’s only a few feet and it takes seconds before Shirabu collides into the kid and they both go tumbling onto the ground.</p><p>There’s a groan and Shirabu feels pain from being caught around his stomach but other than that, he’s finally down and he’s free. The kid on the other hand is wincing and Shirabu watches as they touch their ankle gingerly.</p><p>“I’m sorry…” Shirabu says, already feeling bad about the fact he hurt him.</p><p>The kid shakes his head, and smiles at him, all toothy and pure. “I’m Taichi,” the kid says.</p><p>Shirabu wipes his eyes of any remnants of tears he has, and blearily looks at him. “Kenjirou,” he says in return.</p><p>When their parents arrive, aghast and worried, fretting over them, the two become friends from that day forward.</p><p>And Taichi doesn’t remember anything here, because this is the first time they ever meet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their eyes are vacant and dead, mouth open and foaming with the thoughts of only killing them and Shirabu aims the gun quickly before firing a shot. He misses, only grazing their shoulder as he rolls out of the way when the zombie tries to take a swipe at him.</p><p>He doesn’t know where Taichi is, but he hopes they’ll be able to meet at the rendezvous point with each other, if they’re both able to make it out alive.</p><p>He doesn’t think anymore and runs.</p><p>There’s a sharp pain in his side and he ignores it, knowing that he has no time to look at it when there’s the sound of footsteps behind him, stumbling but bloodthirsty. He hears more than one now and swears, trying to quicken his pace up the stairs.</p><p>Seeing the end near his sight, he slams against the door, opening the exit that’s rusted and worn down with age. With the momentum and strength behind his push however, it gives way easily but Shirabu doesn’t go to try closing it, knowing that if he tries he’ll lose the distance he’s put between him and the zombies now.</p><p>As he runs towards the edge of the roof, he looks down, his chest heaving as he takes deep breaths and takes a few seconds to contemplate his next course of action. He sees Taichi then, running out from the entrance, seemingly unscathed and Shirabu calls out, hoarsely.</p><p>Taichi doesn’t hear him, as he goes to stab the last zombie that follows him.</p><p>The growling behind him persists and Shirabu whips his head back to see them burst through the door, and he closes his eyes for a brief second before opening them again. It’s a slim chance but he looks at the building next to him where there’s a fire escape and a ladder that is half pulled down. He doesn’t know if it’ll hold but he has no choice now. He rocks back and turns to shove the zombies off before he takes off, his shoes pressing against the rumble as he yells out Taichi’s name again.</p><p>Taichi looks up.</p><p>He jumps.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re wearing my sweater,” Taichi points out and Shirabu looks down to see, huh--he is.</p><p>Shirabu had pulled out the first sweater he could find from their basket of clean laundry and while he had noted that the sweater was quite big on him, really thought nothing of it when he used it to keep warm as he went out to their balcony to water the plants.</p><p>“Do you want it back?” Shirabu asks, grabbing the bottom to pull it off and over his head.</p><p>Taichi reaches over to stop Shirabu and shakes his head.</p><p>“Nah,” he answers, a lazy smile now stretches on his face. “It looks good on you.”</p><p>Shirabu snorts, knowing it’s not true but entertains the notion nonetheless. He walks over and lifts Taichi’s legs off the couch before settling in and placing his legs on his lap. Taichi settles into the new position, his hands behind his head as he lounges.</p><p>Shirabu goes to rub the other’s ankle in comfort. “You really need to stop that,” Shirabu comments quietly, knowing full well the time of silence exchanged between the two, Taichi hasn’t once taken his eyes off of him.</p><p>“Stop what?” Taichi asks, trying to play innocent.</p><p>“You know what. Staring at me.”</p><p>Taichi doesn’t respond at first, as he moves his legs off of Shirabu’s lap and then sits up, inching closer to Shirabu. “Hey,” he says softly.</p><p>Shirabu raises his brow but goes to look at him.</p><p>“I can’t help if the only person I see is you,” Taichi says with such sincerity in his voice that Shirabu feels the tips of his ears heat up. There’s a smugness that Shirabu can feel just radiating off of Taichi now when he looks away and scoffs.</p><p>“You really need to stop that also,” Shirabu responds, going to stand up only to be pulled back by Taichi who sits him in his lap. Shirabu’s legs now settle on either side of Taichi’s thighs and he goes to brush away the bangs that have fallen across Shirabu’s eyes.</p><p>“It’s true though,” Taichi says with a slight whisper and a smile on his face. There’s something about it though that stops Shirabu from questioning him, like he usually does. Because he knows that if he tries he’ll get the same answer again, because that is what Taichi truly believes. Even after all these years together, Shirabu doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to it.</p><p>To him, to their love.</p><p>“You’re such a sap,” Shirabu finally responds, though there’s no malice behind his tone, only a fond tone of exasperation when he goes to lean in to give him a soft peck.</p><p>“Mmm,” Taichi hums and curls his arms around Shirabu’s waist tighter, going in for another kiss before he breaks it off and presses his forehead against his, eyes closed.</p><p>Shirabu watches as a sigh escapes Taichi’s lips, as if he has more things he can say, as if there’s another world in which he has tried to confess his love only to die trying, as if he’s never had a chance to express it all when there’s a thousand more worlds in which they will never be together and Shirabu will be too far beyond his reach. But Taichi doesn’t say any of that, only settling for the simplest of wishes.</p><p>“I’m yours though, for as long as you’ll have me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Take it off,” Shirabu growls, pulling at the other’s shirt with urgency.</p><p>Taichi laughs weakly, feebly trying to move away from Shirabu’s grasp only to no avail. “I didn’t know you were so eager,” he jokes but it falls flat when the shirt is torn and lifted now revealing the curse mark has spread across his torso.</p><p>Shirabu’s hand drops and he steps back.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands.</p><p>Taichi shrugs. “What would you have done if you knew?”</p><p>Shirabu clenches his fist, nails digging into his palms as he opens his mouth and then closes it again just as Taichi watches him struggle to find the words that he probably can’t find.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Shirabu eventually says, but the hard edge in his tone is gone this time, all that's left is just broken, sad and desperate. “But we can still try. I’ll look for something. Maybe we missed it in the spellbook. Some way to reverse the effects. We can’t just stop trying--”</p><p>“--Kenjirou.”</p><p>Shirabu pauses and bites his lip, in fear of saying the truth that they both know there is no cure for this. That Taichi will live out his life counting down the days until the curse consumes him whole and turns him into dust.</p><p>“Just stay with me,” Taichi says.</p><p>And Shirabu breaks because it’s not as if he’d even consider ever leaving him in the first place, but Taichi still asks because in the end, he’ll always try and put Shirabu first. Because that’s who he is, and how selfless he is, when he looks at him with an expression so vulnerable that Shirabu has to build walls around his heart now because he doesn’t know what he’ll do when the day comes and Taichi will no longer be with him.</p><p>“I hate you…”</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Taichi knows.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There’s laughter and obnoxious sounds of celebration at the table and while it’s not particularly Shirabu’s scene, he’s enjoying it as the atmosphere seems almost soft around the edges now that he has alcohol in his system. There’s a warmth settling in his chest and he’s smiling to the point that his cheeks hurt. He knows sometime in the future, this will serve as a memory that he’ll probably think about for the days to come. When he and his friends are able to bask in the presence of each other, and talk about their lives and achievements, not forgetting to joke about the fact that Shirabu’s the first out of them all to marry their significant other.</p><p>He doesn’t mind it when he’s happy and well about it.</p><p>After all, that’s why they’re all there, celebrating the last supposed day before he’s married and spending the rest of his days with the one he loves.</p><p>It’s perfect supposedly.</p><p>The way that they fell in love with each other, or at least that’s what everyone around them points out. Maybe that’s why Shirabu said yes, and maybe that’s why Shirabu in the end feels as though he’s settling for more than he deserves. Though he knows there’s a part of him that can’t even begin to describe, where despite the fact all the puzzle pieces in his life are falling right into place, Shirabu feels distant from everything. As if he’s a ghost standing beside his body, seeing what’s happening before him, happening to him and yet feel as though it’s not true.</p><p>He doesn’t have the right to complain and while the smile he’s worn all night is now fraying at the edges, everyone is none the wiser as Shirabu gets up to grab them another round of drinks, walking off to the bar with slower steps now, eyes that aren’t as bright and innocent as they were before the night had started. As if every step he takes towards the bar is another step to realizing that maybe he’s made the wrong choice.</p><p>Once Shirabu reaches the counter however, he waves over the bartender, and as they turn around, Shirabu pauses when their eyes meet.</p><p>There’s an air of familiarity around them, someone who looks as though he’ll hold him so gently in his arms and revere in every touch they will share. Someone who will look at him with fond eyes and treasure every moment they’re able to be within arm's reach of each other. Someone who will never forget every single day that they are two halves of the same soul, and they are each other’s world time and time again.</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t know any of this though and goes to order the drinks as he had planned. The bartender only nods and when he brings the tray over to give it to Shirabu, their hands brush ever so slightly.</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t notice nor care to ask for his name.</p><p>Afterwards, he will think back to this night and wonder why he feels as though he missed something.</p><p>As if there was a promise made in a lifetime before his that he’s now broken.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shirabu stares too long at the couple in front of him, watching the way that they interact with each other so naturally as if it’s been years that they’ve spent together. The way there’s an ease when one of them reaches for the other to pull them into a hug and how there’s a smile reserved only for the other and no one else.</p><p>“Do you want that?” Taichi asks, nodding his head towards the general direction that Shirabu is looking in. There’s no hidden meaning behind his words, only a sense of curiosity that Shirabu recognizes.</p><p>He hums, averting his eyes when the couple shares a kiss. “What?”</p><p>“Being married.”</p><p>Shirabu then notices the glint of a ring on their fingers, a union between the two that they can announce to the world and anyone around them. That for them, their love has reached a point that it will only be in death that they will part.</p><p>He doesn’t answer right away, not as the sun sets beyond the horizon, painting the sky in a mirage of warm colours, and he watches the way the couple walks off, faces that will soon fade into the crowd around them because at the end of time, it will always just be the two of them.</p><p>“No,” Shirabu eventually says, reaching over and intertwining his fingers with Taichi’s, grasping tightly as if for a moment he believes that if he lets go, Taichi will disappear. It’s happened before, he knows, and he’ll be damned if it will happen again. “I love you, and that’s enough.”</p><p>Taichi smiles, just so honestly and wholeheartedly, that Shirabu feels his heart soar before he’s brought back to reality by the lingering kiss that Taichi leaves on his hand.</p><p>Because for every lifetime they are able to love each other, it will always be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>inspired by<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/12681522">darling, i'll see you on the flipside</a> (literally will probably never get over this fic)<br/>and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871949">Infinity and Beyond</a> and the series <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/995424">if this is fate</a>  (in the hellscape that is ffxv right now ;u;)<br/>plus the fact I've been wanting to write a reincarnation fic for a long,,,long while and i honestly had fun writing more than one au in this au. </p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/strryskaeya">twitter</a> if you wanna chat or yell at me about any fandoms c:</p></blockquote></div></div>
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